I Hate The Ice Cream Man

I think the subject line pretty much says it all. I'm also sick to death of hearing The Music Box Dancer. I'd rather set off a mouse trap with my tongue than hear it again. Even so, the question remains...if I hate the ice cream man and you hate him just as much, why is he still around? There can only be one reason: because we're still surrounded by morons who keep giving their kids money to finance him...

I don't know about you, but I can't stand the thought of going through the entire summer coming home from work just to hear the first ten seconds of that infernal piece of crap music OVER AND OVER AGAIN EVERY DAY UNTIL THE WEATHER GETS SO DEPRESSING HE GOES AWAY—or until I drive nails into my ears with a rock and chew out my own wrists, whichever comes first.

So what can we do? Pass a law? No, that would be an improper use of government. What we can do is make giving money to these clowns more embarrassing than pissing yourself at the Academy Awards.

Go on, you know you want to do it. Find out who's buying and give them hell. The summer nights are too precious to do otherwise.