May 2007

The Church of the Depressed

EHL Podcast: Episode 17

The Church of the Depressed

Wednesday, May 9, 2007
6:58PM

Do you remember the melancholy Mormon movies and filmstrips of the 70s, 80s and early 90s? You know—classics like the one with the depressed old lady and her chronically empty mailbox? Or how about Cipher in the Snow, where a kid is treated so miserably that he actually drops face-down dead while stepping out of the school bus one day? Sure you didn’t even know him, but by the time the show was over, didn’t you feel just a little bit that somehow it was your fault? Why couldn’t you have just loved him a little more? You insensitive piece of shit!

Maybe you were forced to endure tragedies like Together Forever, and I’ll Build You a (Fucking) Rainbow. Do you have loved ones? Well, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but they’re gonna die. And oh, P.S.: Do you remember how cool the mom was? I mean come on—she was one of the best football players on the block! Well just give up now, because she’s not you, and you’ll never be that good a parent. You inadequate piece of shit!

My personal favorite was Morality for Youth. You have to admire a show that makes you certain that touching it (or anyone else) makes you the kind of person who’d see no problem whatsoever in holding a drowning teenage girl under the rapids for a flotation device. And no…of course there’s nothing weird about a thousand men getting together once a year with their sons to listen to an old man talk about masturbation. You dirty, perverted murderous piece of shit!

Perhaps you missed the movies but were unfortunate enough to get the Sunday school lesson where they had you put a nail through a piece of cardboard for each of your sins. Weren’t you surprised to discover you’d been stabbing a picture of Jesus in the face the whole time? Oh sure, you cried but you were told that crying is a fruit of the Spirit—an outward manifestation of holiness and joy.

Strange how much it felt like agony.

Inside the LDS Church and out, people seem to generally accept that Mormons have had more than their fair share of depression. And who can blame them? Utah women lead the nation in antidepressant use, and our young men are more likely to commit suicide than just about anywhere in the country.

But can Mormonism really make you depressed? For all of the studies and reports out there, the results seem, well—inconclusive. To find out more, Heidi and I spoke with the author of the blog Emerging From the Ashes. She’s taken an in-depth look at the studies that have been done, so you’d better have a listen (you uninformed piece of shit).

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