July 2007

Now With Chastity,
For the Strength of Youth!
A Few Things to Do When You're Bored
Jumpin' Jehova's Witnesses!
The Blasphemy Challenge
Happy Pioneer Day!
Peeves
The Millionth Mormon Missionary
The Millionth Mormon Missionary's Mom

Now With Chastity,
For the Strength of Youth!

Monday, July 30, 2007
8:14AM

A Few Things to Do
When You're Bored

Saturday, July 28, 2007
7:30AM

Jumpin' Jehova's Witnesses!

Friday, July 27, 2007
10:47AM

I've been tracted out!

An Overdue Response
to the Blasphemy Challenge

Thursday, July 26, 2007
6:30PM

Happy Pioneer Day!

Monday, July 23, 2007
6:16PM

EHL Podcast: Episode 21

Peeves

Sunday, July 22, 2007
9:30PM

Pssst! Hey—if you're reading this post on the toilet, we need to talk. When they say there's a time and a place for everything, they don't really mean everything. So wrap up your business on the can, wash your hands (and your Blackberry), and have a listen. We've got a few things to say to you.

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Show Notes

LDS Missionaries to Live with Members (Salt Lake Trib)

Teens don't catch warnings in alcohol ads (Salt Lake Trib)

Utah selling more booze (KSL)

Bender meets God

We're All Going to Hell (The Bastard Fairies)

And finally, the Drink of the Week:

EHL Podcast: Bonus Episode!

The View from the Exit Seat

Tuesday, July 10, 2007
12:01AM

You know the exit seats on the plane? I think they're a great place to sit for a couple of reasons. First, they're less restrictive because of all the leg room. Less restriction is good. Not only that, it's a great place to be if you ever need to get your ass out of the plane in a hurry.

Seven years ago today, I jumped from the exit seat of Mormonism straight onto the tarmac. It was a long way down, but it just seemed the best thing to do once I discovered the plane just wasn't gonna fly.

On July 10, 2000, I formally resigned from the LDS church. I probably wouldn’t even remember the exact date except that I stumbled on my letters to the bishop while thumbing through one of my old journals.

Wanna know what I said? Wanna know what the bishop said back? Wanna know what I said back to what the bishop said back to me? Wow, you are bored. Just the same, I’ll be reading the letters in this episode.

Also, as promised, I’ve included our short talk with Tyler, hereafter known in my book as Mormonism’s Millionth Missionary. He was lucky enough to have his parents buy the exit seat for him. If you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, then you’ll probably want to listen to Episode 20 first.

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EHL Podcast: Episode 20

The Millionth Mormon
Missionary’s Mom

Sunday, July 1, 2007
2:00PM

Nannette was a convert to Mormonism of over 27 years. She joined the church during a particularly trying time in her life. It seemed to meet her needs. She attended her meetings faithfully, married in the temple, volunteered where she could and did her best to raise her children well in the religion she had chosen.

So, when the time arrived to send her nineteen-year-old son Tyler on a two-year mission for the LDS church, it seemed only natural. They sent in his application right away and eagerly awaited his call.

His assignment eventually arrived, but not in a way that would be considered traditional. The church presented him with several bizarre and unfair roadblocks before and during his time in North Carolina. Somehow Nannette managed to suspend her disbelief and continued to support him.

She was already sending the church $400 a month for this “blessing” when she got a worried email from her son.

“Guess what?” he said. “They just cut our food budget from $145 a month to $130. It’s going to be really hard to eat well on that amount of money.”

Meanwhile, as Tyler and the other the missionaries in his area tried to scrape by on about four dollars a day, the Mormon Church blithely carried on with the construction of its massive billion dollar mall in downtown Salt Lake City.

And that’s when Nannette did something that must be very rare and unexpected in the LDS church. They took an emergency trip across the country from Oregon to North Carolina to rescue their son. He’s been home for a month now, and I think it’s fair to say they have never been so happy.

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