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Eight Hours of Recommended Reading
(But only if you're really slow.)
- PETA: The Worth of Animal Souls Is Great
- Celestial Roulette
- My Body is a Private Club for Members
- Label Maker
- The Fear of God and Spiders
- You Must Be Smoking
- Caffeine: The Devil's in the Drip
Eight Hours Worth
of other Blogs
I've been to too many blogs to list them all in this column, but you can see the list here.
At Least Eight Hours Worth of Podcasts I'm Not Supposed to Like:
WWJD (What Would Jesus Drink?)
Saturday, December 15, 2007
12:41PM
I don't know what reason you need for the season, but this one's good enough for me.
If you've been good this year, we can fix that.
EHL Podcast: Episode 23
Interview With Jeff Ricks, Host of PostMormon.org
Sunday, Sept 23, 2007
12:50AM
Yeah, you read that right. It's almost one in the morning. I love you guys that much.
Jeff, you're a great guy. Thanks for your time on the phone, and thanks to all of you for waiting so long for this episode to come out. Keep those letters coming. We love hearing from you!
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Show Notes
LDS Church Half Apologizes for Mountain Meadows Massacre
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
6:21PM
So the LDS issued an "apology" for the Mountain Meadows Massacre today. Well whoop-tee-fucking-doo. Where can I get baptized?
A Question for the Ages
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
3:57PM
For some time now, mankind has struggled with a single question. It is a question that has pushed the limits of our understanding, patience and endurance. It is a question that can be answered by one man, and one man only. And that question is, "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE NEXT EPISODE OF YOUR GODDAMNED PODCAST, DOUG?"
Yes. Where the fuck, indeed. Several weeks ago Heidi and I spoke with the proprietor of Postmormon.org. While I've had every intention of putting it up right away, truth is I've been more interested in enjoying the last few days of summer with the fam. Sick, I know. Where are my priorities?
Anyhow, once I get off my lazy ass and finish editing, I'll post it. In the meantime, stop over at our YouTube Channel for a glimpse of what we've been up to.
Heavy Petting
Thursday, August 23, 2007
5:12PM
When I was a kid, we had a parakeet named Lucky. Good name, really. Lucky. I mean he spent his entire life hopping around in circles because his cage was too small for him to fly in. He ate the same thing every day of his short little life and continuously whistled a tune that I'm pretty sure was by The Smiths. One day he finally died face down in a pile of his own shit and sat there until someone finally tossed him unceremoniously into the trash. That's pretty lucky, isn't it?
My sister had a pet goldfish. She named him Sushi. His story was a lot like Lucky's--only with a smaller, wetter home. I think he was depressed though, because one day he just up and committed suicide. Jumped right out of the bowl. He didn't even leave us a note. Sad, really.
Then there was our dog, Shorty. I imagine life was rough for him, too. I mean come on, he was a cockapoo! I'm embarrassed to even say cockapoo. Any dog breed with the word "cock" in it should be completely off-fucking-limits. Double that if it ends in poo. It's like they took two of the most embarrassing parts of the dog and made it their mission to showcase them. I can only imagine how he felt around other dogs. I'm sure that's why our labrador liked to sneak up on him and pee on his head. Still, if that's all the namers had to work with, I guess that's better than poocock.
Now we have a rabbit. I guess I'm OK with that cause he's soft, cute, little and makes tiny poops that look like cocoa puffs. Sure don't taste like 'em though.
With Both Hands
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
12:13PM
So I'm in the restroom at the theater the other day, and after I wash my hands I go over to the paper towel dispenser. I'm reading the instructions (because apparently people need instructions for this kind of thing) and it says, "USE BOTH HANDS!!!". I know they were serious because it was in Spanish, too. Because I speak both languages, and I like living life on the edge, I did what I always do with these kind of instructions—I ignored them.
As I was pulling down little wet pieces of paper towel with JUST ONE HAND, it got me thinking...I bet this really pisses off the one-armed guy. There he is, just minding his own business and trying to get on with life and dry off his one clean hand...and it's just sitting there, mocking him. TIRE LAS TOALLAS POR ABAJO CON AMBAS MANOS!! "Oh yeah, really funny" he says. "Both hands, RIIIIGHT. Assholes."
What's New?
Friday, August 10, 2007
12:37PM
A lot, actually. Happy Friday, everybody! Hey just a few notes for the weekend. First, thanks for everyone who listened to Possummomma's interview last week (about 300 of you just this week!). If you haven't been yet, you'll want to check out the rabid, incoherent babblings of an apologetic on her site who seems to have taken it upon himself to "prove" we're all wrong. And I'm using a really loose definition of the word prove here, folks. It's kind of sad, actually. Last time I checked she was up to 70 comments.
Next, you may have noticed a few new links on the site. I'm referring specifically to the Vote for us link on the left (for Podcast Alley), and the Fave this blog link on the right. If you enjoy the podcast, please take a minute to show your support on Podcast Alley and Technorati. If you think we suck, please be sure to tell all the other people you hate all about us. I'm sure they'll love us. Heidi and I both thank you in advance.
Last of all, we have a YouTube channel! Lots of you have been out there already, but if you haven't, drop by for a visit. The most recent video (below) is just something ancient I dug out of my archives. Crazy how fast they grow up.
EHL Podcast: Episode 22
Possummomma Goes to the Temple
Sunday, August 5, 2007
9:44PM
Once upon a time in a town that was far off for some and not too far for others, there lived an intelligent and well-spoken possum. She had four little possums she loved very much. She worked very hard to make sure that each of them would grow up to be happy, fulfilled, and able to think for themselves. To the people around her, she hardly seemed the kind of person to ever stir up trouble. This was for the most part, true. But it wasn’t always that way.
Before she had her little possums, Possummomma went away to college. Like most good students, she cleverly found a way to make a little trouble when she wasn’t in class. Ok, actually it was a lot of trouble. That is to say that it would have been a lot of trouble if she had ever been caught, which she wasn’t.
You see, Possummomma’s roommate was a Mormon and she was Catholic. And while she had been to see Temple Square in Salt Lake City, she was quite miffed at not having been allowed inside the curious building of large gothic spires and granite. Of course not having her way only made her want to get inside a temple even more, and she was soon to have her wish.
One day, her Mormon roommate, who also just happened to be a bishop’s daughter had just arrived back at school after a holiday. “How would you like to go the temple?” she said.
“How about now?” said the naughty little Possum coed.
And this, my friends, is where the real story begins.
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Show Notes
Possummomma's Blog (AKA Atheist in a Minivan)
Now With Chastity,
For the Strength of Youth!
Monday, July 30, 2007
8:14AM
A Few Things to Do
When You're Bored
Saturday, July 28, 2007
7:30PM
Jumpin' Jehova's Witnesses!
Friday, July 27, 2007
10:47AM
I've been tracted out!
An Overdue Response
to the Blasphemy Challenge
Thursday, July 26, 2007
6:30PM
Happy Pioneer Day!
Monday, July 23, 2007
6:16PM
EHL Podcast: Episode 21
Peeves
Sunday, July 22, 2007
9:30PM
Pssst! Hey—if you're reading this post on the toilet, we need to talk. When they say there's a time and a place for everything, they don't really mean everything. So wrap up your business on the can, wash your hands (and your Blackberry), and have a listen. We've got a few things to say to you.
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Stumble ItShow Notes
LDS Missionaries to Live with Members (Salt Lake Trib)
Teens don't catch warnings in alcohol ads (Salt Lake Trib)
Utah selling more booze (KSL)
We're All Going to Hell (The Bastard Fairies)
And finally, the Drink of the Week:
EHL Podcast: Bonus Episode!
The View from the Exit Seat
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
12:01AM
You know the exit seats on the plane? I think they're a great place to sit for a couple of reasons. First, they're less restrictive because of all the leg room. Less restriction is good. Not only that, it's a great place to be if you ever need to get your ass out of the plane in a hurry.
Seven years ago today, I jumped from the exit seat of Mormonism straight onto the tarmac. It was a long way down, but it just seemed the best thing to do once I discovered the plane just wasn't gonna fly.
On July 10, 2000, I formally resigned from the LDS church. I probably wouldn’t even remember the exact date except that I stumbled on my letters to the bishop while thumbing through one of my old journals.
Wanna know what I said? Wanna know what the bishop said back? Wanna know what I said back to what the bishop said back to me? Wow, you are bored. Just the same, I’ll be reading the letters in this episode.
Also, as promised, I’ve included our short talk with Tyler, hereafter known in my book as Mormonism’s Millionth Missionary. He was lucky enough to have his parents buy the exit seat for him. If you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, then you’ll probably want to listen to Episode 20 first.
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EHL Podcast: Episode 20
The Millionth Mormon
Missionary’s Mom
Sunday, July 1, 2007
2:00PM
Nannette was a convert to Mormonism of over 27 years. She joined the church during a particularly trying time in her life. It seemed to meet her needs. She attended her meetings faithfully, married in the temple, volunteered where she could and did her best to raise her children well in the religion she had chosen.
So, when the time arrived to send her nineteen-year-old son Tyler on a two-year mission for the LDS church, it seemed only natural. They sent in his application right away and eagerly awaited his call.
His assignment eventually arrived, but not in a way that would be considered traditional. The church presented him with several bizarre and unfair roadblocks before and during his time in North Carolina. Somehow Nannette managed to suspend her disbelief and continued to support him.
She was already sending the church $400 a month for this “blessing” when she got a worried email from her son.
“Guess what?” he said. “They just cut our food budget from $145 a month to $130. It’s going to be really hard to eat well on that amount of money.”
Meanwhile, as Tyler and the other the missionaries in his area tried to scrape by on about four dollars a day, the Mormon Church blithely carried on with the construction of its massive billion dollar mall in downtown Salt Lake City.
And that’s when Nannette did something that must be very rare and unexpected in the LDS church. They took an emergency trip across the country from Oregon to North Carolina to rescue their son. He’s been home for a month now, and I think it’s fair to say they have never been so happy.
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Show Notes
EHL Podcast: Episode 19
An Atheist TV Host from
the Buckle of the Bible Belt
Sunday, June 17, 2007
3:00PM
What could an ex-Mormon possibly have in common with a former Southern Baptist who had every intention of someday becoming an ordained minister?
Last week Heidi and I spent an hour on the phone with Matt Dillahunty, the president of the Atheist Commmunity of Austin. He’s the host of a weekly public access TV show in Austin called The Atheist Experience, and co-host of a podcast called the Non-Prophets.
“I remember burning rock and roll albums because I had been convinced of back-masking.”
Shudder. Boyd K. Packer would have been so proud—once he converted.
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Show Notes
Al Queda Missionaries (video)
Not exactly related to the show, but you should watch this bike wreck.
They Sold Their Souls for Rock and Roll
Gene R. Cook (allegedly) meets Mick Jagger
You've got to listen to this one (link on left):
Hand of the Almighty, John R. Butler
EHL Podcast: Episode 18
Tithing: God Wants Your Lunch Money
Sunday, June 3, 2007
4:00PM
You think the tax man is bad? He also wants your nest egg and any fun money you have sitting around, and if he doesn't get it you are going to BURN.
If that isn't enough to get you to tune in, perhaps I should mention that the missionaries came over to visit. BWAAAHAHAHAHA. Poor kids.
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Show Notes
Watch Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron as they have their asses handed to them by the Rational Response Squad.
Because I'm a good sport, I'll give them a chance to explain in their own words without interference. Here's Way of the (Banana) Master explaining how bananas disprove evolution. Ok, maybe that didn't help. Guh.
Watch Al Sharpton refuse to give any meaningful attempt at a defense of Christianity as Christopher Hitchens flattens him. After watching this, I'm not so sure Sharpton isn't just a closet atheist who's taking a ride on the gullibility of his constituents.
